Today’s one of the days that feels between things. Like I want to write big ideas and wonderful things about the walk or coffee or just the going. Yet. Yeah. There are only small things. Things that turn around and vex me at times. Little things.
- arguments. No one wins at arguments and disagreements. What happens instead is one of us simply forgets and the other holds on. It makes no one a winner.
- wanting to go. I have simply wanted to go for awhile. I want to go to Vietnam. I want to feel those things again. I feel light years away so I just stop. Inside a million little pin pricks hit me.
- walking and solitude. I need both. When I’m around people too much I get this sensation of despondence and dislike. It’s a physical ailment. And a mental. I met this American in a bar a few nights ago. He told me his worldly exploits. I don’t do that. He also smoked. It was like two strikes and you’re out.
- writing. More. Less. Same. Different. Deciding to decide is tough. What do I want with this stuff. Nothing. All. Little bits of things in all directions. See how messed up I am. So I figure I must write. First will go see my daughter. Have coffee with her. Talk. The passapp will take me soon. Then I can write more.
writing more
Then this afternoon peddled along. We decided we must go away out of Cambodia and do other things. So off we go to Malaysia for a week. I like the planning part a lot. Finding hotels close to where we can then catch trains or buses. Kuala Lumpur is nice that way. Our hotel is close to the Sentral train station. Easy from airport. Easy to go to Melaka. Then easy to get back. This trip is easy because direct flight. My wife has never been. I look over photos there in KL. Places I want to go. One time spent a month there. That was the nicest. I liked then just going and stopping. So many nice things to find. To lose. And then to wander around. Another time was over Christmas. 10 days there or so. Nice times.
Now evening seems intent on arriving. So I just sit and want some time alone. I’m not terribly social at the best of times. This house brings out the worst in me I fear.
It is nice having airlines booked. To he able to just go. Then see my wife in a place she’s never been. So I figured the blog needs to have more and different words. Not sure what that means. So will ponder that.
