The days always seem to linger along. Now we have family visiting. Its a mix of good and bad. My wife and her mom always seem to argue in Khmer and my wife’s niece with her kids is staying here too. The house always seems crowded and more. Makes me impatient to go walking and away.
The days always seem to start too early. Never been able to figure out why Cambodian people wake up so early. It feels like staying in bed until 7am is some treat. I like starting to write in the mornings with music going and being alone. Often, like today, I stop and what I’m writing on syncs from Mac to android and I can pick it up.
coffee now
I enjoy the morning coffee away from the ever talking around the house. It goes on for whatever time and when I decide to leave I. An hear them still going. Soon though their voices fade into the background cacophony of living in a Cambodian neighborhood. I think the talking is a given. It sounds thus,
Blah blah and blah. And blah and blah.
On and on. Perhaps my wife is the leading protagonist of this. She loves to talk. What I realized is that the talking is like the continuation of social media. It links people that just talked on Facebook to real life. Or almost real life. Sometimes think its a continuum. From social media apps to chatting when someone reads some post to seeking out the person in real life. Blah and blah.
It is interesting to wonder what would happen if Cambodia blocked Facebook or TikTok. There would be cries and wailing and gnashing of teeth I fear.
and on with days
I just go on my way. I write. Walk. Read some. Find a place to sit both in quiet yet surrounded by Khmer people talking. Forever in my days. It used to be one of the most frequently asked questions my wife would ask me was,
Are you happy?
It has always seemed its a difficult question to answer but so easy to ask. When I go after my days I don’t feel like there is this senseless happiness thing. I don’t want that. I tell her I just show how I feel. I feel caught between most times. In honesty the question takes me down. It’s not a question to sit around and answer. It’s like she asks me what I’m thinking.
No. I don’t know that one either. It’s better to just go.
